Weight.

it frustrates me. it increases. it decreases. i feel like it's going to be okay. and then i feel gross. will i forever be this person?

yesterday was me and drew's 10 month (: we rented lots of movies and ate junk food. we had these fancy cookie sticks and we pretended we were fancy estate owners and had just imported fancy cuban cigars. we are quite the pair.

things should be all set for Tennessee. (:


work at 4, babysitting at 7:30, and then lots of sleep. hopefully lots of diet pepsi as well. i need all the help i can get.


i miss you.

In Other News.

I love him. (:

i really do.

here

i've never felt this way before. it physically hurts me sometimes and makes me crinkle my eyebrows and just hold on to him. it makes me feel like flying sometimes. like i own the world and nothing i do could possibly fail. it makes me nervous, makes me smile, makes me cry, makes me skip and jump around like a little girl. he completely owns my heart.

Hopefully every entry from now on will not be like that. (: But that's what's going on lately. In addition...

* Interesting work relationships. It's funny how things change.

* Getting things set for Tennessee and college. Life is making nervous... it will never be the same again. And I think that's okay.

* Extreme Midget Wrestling... yes. I went to that last night. And it was the greatest thing ever. My baby and I ordered tickets online, went to this trashy club in a shady part of town, and got crazy dumb bracelets at the door. And watched midgets wrestle. If you ever get the chance... GO. It was so amazingly hilarious. (:

* I'm trying to plan something cute for me and Drew's 10 month on Monday. We'll see how that goes, I guess. I love him. I really do. (:

Is It Really?

here

this whole thing seems like a pretty huge commitment.


but maybe it's different than it has always seemed.

it's hard to say.

here
but this is how i feel.

my soul?

i like him(:

but i don't know him.

i like cherry slurpees
even if they're not always free.

i like orange sherbet scented chappy

even if my boyfriend uses the same kind.

i like my bangs

even if they are crazy uneven and all over the place.

i like my journal

even if there are no pages without glitter.

i like my boyfriend

even if i don't have the guts to tell him how i really feel.

i like my boots

even though they aren't finished.

i like my summer so far

even if everything i see reminds me of her.

it's true... what they say.

some days things i wish things were beautiful.

and some days i really try for things to be beautiful.

some days i make things beautiful.

and then there are days like today.

days that are lonely and full of anticipation for nothing in particular.

that just are beautiful.

here

LATELY.

it's becoming harder and harder for me to not shout it out.

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poops mcgee.

sometimes. i miss things.

shelby, i miss you. sigh.

Outside My Window.

happy fourth of july (:

i'm not sure what else to say other than this morning was a huge letdown.

i went to say goodbye, and i couldn't find him anywhere. i drove around looking for two hours. and went home feeling defeated.

in other news... last night i went downtown, where the cherry festival is (: with caitlin, got fazzoli's, ran to borders to grab a shake from byron, went scooting through walmart with no purpose, and swung home to pick up the crew to go to the beach bum's game. (: ran into a lot of friends there, and talked to mom. it was nice.

now there is a fourth of july party/the annual luau on our beach. it always starts ridiculously early, and lasts ridiculously long. but it's fun, i suppose. lots of booze, and lots of loud music.

today should be pretty great. besides this morning, which ended up not being a complete waste of time (see lower), today has been very relaxing and the weather is beautiful.

here is the hidden gem i found during my great search this morning:

i think i would enjoy just wandering. laying in the grass. preferably in my underwear. i love beautiful things. (:

so long for now, my dears. xoxo,

elyse.

drew just took my seat.

you ever have someone who just changed your life?

you're not sure why, and it doesn't exactly make sense.

but when you think of them, you just smile and remember. but miss them like crazy? for no reason at all.
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welcome to this week.



lately... lots of late nights, early mornings, journaling and letters, iced tea and flowers, boyfriend kisses and nail biting.



there's still time, i suppose. but right now it would be nice to jump on in.





i want to be you.



here