the way i'm sitting in my dorm room
with the lights off
on a friday night
i feel like i'm writing a suicide note.
i might as well be for the way my heart aches.
i haven't felt like this in over a year.
i don't like this feeling.
this torment of not being the most important person.
i tried talking to three people about it.
i want to talk to you, but i know you wouldn't understand.
why do i want this as badly as i do?
why is it such a big deal to me?
why can't i just let this go and go back to the way things were before?
there is no reason.
i don't know where to go, so i'm standing still.
i'm scared of what my heart is telling me.
i'm scared of the emotions i feel.
i'm scared that this is as serious to me as it is.
i'm scared that i'm so heartbroken about it.
and i'm really scared i'm going to stay like this.